It was a mess. I didn’t really know what love meant and he was really toxic and controlling but I feel like it all could’ve been avoided if I had told him from the start that I just wanted to be friends. I was never really happy. He never understood me and would get upset with me often. He blamed me for all the things he was going through. So I ended it. It was hard. I’ve never been in a relationship before that. I feel bad though because I don’t think I actually loved him at all. But I've learned that not every thing was made to last. I grew from this. My friends and I grew closer, and my best friend supported me the whole way.